he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize