i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
