Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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