just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
