Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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