did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
