he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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