did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
