She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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