I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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