I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
