I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
