I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
50% drunk capacity currently
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
