so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
