Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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