the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
