Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
