a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
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