$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
