Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I think I just sharted jello shots
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
