hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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