when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize