Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
