..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Can you bring me the toilet please
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize