My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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