i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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