It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
