He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
