Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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