Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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