I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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