I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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