so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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