he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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