Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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