oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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