My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
