you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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