I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
