im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
