the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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