Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
