This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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