he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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