I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
