One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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