Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
