I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
