College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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