Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
